: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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