oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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