I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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