Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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