Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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