Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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