I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
