just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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