I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
