remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
