I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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