i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
