so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
