Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
