i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
