I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
