I look better un-naked...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
