Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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