If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
