had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
