lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
