i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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