Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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