She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
