who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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