i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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