I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
