You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
