my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
