Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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