so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
