Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
