This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
