so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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