Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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