you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
