do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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