Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
