I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
