the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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