its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
that's an acceptable place to lick
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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