Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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