Nicole vs. Life
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
