moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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