i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
