i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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