Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I need a beard to bite.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
