I'm so fucking centered right now
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
