I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
