had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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