If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
